Star Wars Spin-Off Ideas

Rogue One is out in theaters now, and what a tone it has set for Disney’s expanded Star Wars universe! I hope you love the original trilogy, because right now it’s looking like Disney will CONSTANTLY REFER BACK TO IT.

Ok sure, we’re only two movies in, but here’s what we know so far: Force Awakens basically remakes A New Hope, Rogue One is a prequel to A New Hope, and our next spin-off focuses on a young Han Solo. Really expanding the universe here, Disney.

With that in mind, I’d like to propose to Disney my ideas for future Star Wars spin-offs. Since the beings in charge have decided to throw out anything from books and comics published before George Lucas sold the property, so are we!  Disney, please contact me if you’re interested, I like money and I don’t respect myself.

• Give Windu a Hand: A Star Wars Story. Rogue One already started using characters from the prequel trilogy, so why not continue this trend? It may not be as beloved as the original trilogy, but at least you don’t have to think about what new exciting stuff could be happening in other parts of the Star Wars universe. Samuel L. Jackson has already appeared in 64 of the Marvel films, and a whole slew of DTV movies. This man likes money! Since Disney owns Marvel, they already have his bank details on file, so that makes hiring him super easy. This tale would be set after Revenge of The Sith, and focus on Windu’s survival after being attacked by Anakin Skywalker. Let’s say he finds it difficult to regain his strength on some ice or desert planet, and finds some shamans who help him to attach a new hand to his body. Everything goes well, until the hand starts taking on a life of its own and slowly takes over Windu’s body, forcing him to take out other remaining Jedis. Directed by Oliver Stone, who likes money and has experience in movies about hands.
• Check Out My Biggs: A Star Wars Story. Hey, this guy is in A New Hope! He’s a friend of Luke Skywalker. Why not make a movie about Luke and him hanging out in college on Tatooine, getting up to all kinds of shenanigans? I’m thinking a mix of Van Wilder and Friday Night Lights. Raunchy college stuff, but still that dramatic edge of teenagers longing to find out what else is out there. Villain can be like a principal who’s really a Sith or something. Directed by John Hamburg.
• The Parent Trap: A Star Wars Story. After the events of Return of the Jedi, widower Admiral Ackbar retires from the Rebel Alliance to focus on raising his teenage son Freddy Ackbar. Feeling insignificant due to the shadow his father casts, Freddy has fallen in with a crowd of criminals on his underwater planet. When Freddy is forced to go on the run after being falsely accused of committing a murder, it’s up to Admiral Ackbar to clear his name. Directed by John Moore.
• Helmet heads: A Star Wars Story. Remember those guys with the weird helmets who get hacked up by Darth Vader in A New Hope? What’s their story? What are their hopes and dreams? Let’s find out in a movie. Directed by me, and three other directors Disney sends to my set since they’re dissatisfied with what I edited together.

Well those are just a few ideas. Do you have any other ones? Let me know!